Before our first child was born, I felt frantic about our dwindling days as a couple without kids. We spent so much time together that summer before Gabe was born, filling our days and evenings with conversations, blissful sleep (well as blissful as you can get in those last few weeks of pregnancy), and settling into our home.
Life changed when Gabe arrived, but less so than I had worried. Turns out we had time for most everything except uninterrupted sleep after the first few months. And even that was reclaimed after [mumble mumble way too long, let’s not talk about sleep].
This summer, I’m feeling a bit frantic again. But this time, about our dwindling days as a family of three. Our dwindling days as this perfect, comfortable little trio. We’ve gone on so many adventures together, and now we’re bringing a new baby into the mix.
Plus, I’m feeling frantic about the last days of the perfect work balance we’ve had going over the past 4 years. Mike and I have always both worked part-time and watched Gabe part-time – now that will change. Mike will be gone full-time and I’ll watch TWO children full-time (for the first few months – then we’re getting some child care so I can work, too). Those weekday mornings when all three of us get to be home are soon going to be no more. And aside from my fears over being home alone for long days with two children – one a tiny baby! – I’m just a little sad about it changing.
I’m a little sad Gabe will no longer be my one and only. I’m not asking to be reassured that it’s a good idea to have a second child. I know, I know. I’ll love this child just as fiercely and we’ll all find our places as a perfect little four-pack eventually. But, right now? I’m going to miss this kid being my little sidekick and buddy as we take on the world together. So many coffee shop dates and walks to the grocery store and little every day adventures will surely be complicated by the introduction of a newborn into the mix.
And I’m so thankful to be welcoming another child. But, man. I’m sure going to miss you being my only child, Gabriel.
Gabe, thank you for being the most amazing first child I could dream of. The past nearly-four years as your mama have been wonderful. Thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for teaching me more about myself. Thank you for being the perfect travel companion. Thank you for waking me up so many mornings by hugging and kissing me and telling me I’m “da bes’ mama ever!”. Thank you for being the most affectionate little creature I’ve ever encountered. Thank you for letting me write about you sappily on the internet.
I sure hope this new adventure is going to be just as wonderful for all of us and that you’ll teach your little sibling how to be just as delightful as you.