Hello and welcome to my debbie downer corner of the internet. Want to know why I hate this time of year? Pull up a chair. Let me share. (Or click x and escape the sadness.) November 15: The due date for my first miscarriage. A tiny, small part of me still thinks “I’d have aRead the whole post >>
Finding Life after Loss.
Involves new hairstyles, eating my feelings in sugar form, and buying my kids matching clothing. I haven’t been sure what to write about here anymore. I feel like I’m 32, surely I shouldn’t be publicly journaling and sharing my thoughts, right? I’ve grown past that. Need to keep those thoughts and feelings private. And yet.Read the whole post >>
When Your “Rainbow Baby” Dies, Too.
On July 22nd, I took a pregnancy test. It was 12 weeks to the day after I’d given birth to Clare and still no period, so I wanted to be sure. To rule out pregnancy, right? It was negative, as I expected, so I threw it in the trash. A few hours later, I peekedRead the whole post >>
How to Support a Friend Who’s Lost a Baby.
Almost five months ago now, I lost a baby at 21 weeks of pregnancy. In the time since, I’ve gone to therapy and support groups and talked with countless other women who’ve lost babies. One thing is in common – support is so key to getting through this. I’ve been already asked how to supportRead the whole post >>
It’s Been A While.
The physician assistant smiles at me. “So tell me about yourself.” “Well, I’m pretty boring, health-wise-“ she laughs. I take a deep breath and try to be breezy, “Except for pregnancy. I have, uh, I had a son and then two miscarriages, then another son, then lost a baby at 21 weeks in April.” Her faceRead the whole post >>
Six Weeks Out.
Six weeks ago I was at the hospital. I was dreading going to the labor and delivery floor to give birth to my dead baby. I was so scared of walking in and seeing some hugely pregnant woman getting admitted and getting ready to meet her baby while I was there with my undersized bumpRead the whole post >>
17 Days Out.
I looked outside and suddenly there are flowers and the trees are lush with leaves and the grass is bright green. The earth is brimming with life and yet, I have none. Okay, that sounds more melodramatic than I intended. I’m not sad and lonely and depressed all the time – but being pregnant, I feltRead the whole post >>
Clare.
I’m sad to share that last Wednesday, we found the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I delivered our teeny tiny daughter, Clare at almost 22 weeks on Friday. We are heartbroken and grieving. Life makes no sense right now. You would have been in the best family, Clare. You had the very best big brother there everRead the whole post >>
