Or, Yes, I’m Married, have a Child, am in my Mid-20s, and Don’t Want to Buy a House Anytime Soon.
You get married, buy a house, then you can have kids. That’s the way it works, right? Or, at the very least – you buy a house right after having your first kid.
It seems unpopular to rent instead of buy, and certainly after you’ve married and procreated. Though many twenty-somethings are working towards the financial goal of buying a house, it’s not on our radar. We hear that we’re ‘throwing away money’ by renting. That a house is a good investment. That homeownership is an American dream. That Gabe deserves a yard and lots of space. I even heard someone refer to the poorer kids at a school as ‘apartment dwellers.’ Really?
We are in the financial position to buy a home, but have decided for many reasons that it’s not something we’re eager to rush into.
Why?
Freedom. I once had a friend who got into a great graduate program in another state, but she wasn’t able to move because it didn’t sell. Aside from difficulties selling, houses (especially here in Ohio) often aren’t what they used to be in terms of a solid investment. And since we’re not tethered to a mortgage, we are free to easily move if Mike gets a job offer somewhere else. Or if we finally get fed up with winters in northeast Ohio. Or if we want to spend a year in southeast Asia.
Built-In Community. We live in fairly close quarters with probably hundred other people, sharing elevators, hallways, mailboxes, and laundry rooms with them. This means our paths and lives cross daily – and we get to know the other residents over time. The little old women who sit by the mailboxes commenting on how cute Gabe is (“Oh, I wish I had a camera!” Every. Time.), the maintenance men who ask about “Mr. Gabriel,” the doctor who lives on our floor, and the man who likes to tell us about his own children he raised 40 years ago. I tend to be introverted, so living in an apartment is a great way to force me to interact with others. (And enables a bit of stalking: we secretly want to be best friends with the retired guys who order fair trade coffee beans.)
We’re Lazy. We don’t have to do yard work, and if anything goes wrong – we just call the maintenance guys and they’re here right away to fix it. Literally, right away. The service in this apartment is great! There’s no sidewalk or driveway to shovel, either.
Sharing is Caring. Since we share a washer and dryer with the other residents on the floor, we don’t need to buy one. And there is an exercise room in the building, so we don’t need to buy (or make space for) a treadmill in our apartment. Additionally, apartment living is often seen as a ‘green’ choice, since more people can fit into less space. It certainly keeps us warmer in the winter, without having to turn up our heat.
Simple Living. We have less space, so we accumulate (or keep) less stuff and less to clean. This apartment is just the perfect size for us. Plus, we don’t need baby monitors, because our apartment is small enough that we can just hear Gabe if he cries. And I cannot stress enough how nice it is to not worry about having an emergency fund for home repairs – a leaky roof, plumbing problems, a broken furnace or water heater, and so on.
Location, Location, Location. Getting a large house out in the suburbs with a long commute is a popular choice which people can make come true after they have a baby, but we opted for less space in a walkable area close to Mike’s school. Though we don’t have a yard, there are three parks and playgrounds less than half a mile away. Not to mention the public library, a coffee shop, several restaurants, our bank, and a movie theater less than a five-minute walk from our front door. In a world that is increasingly car-centered, it is my hope that Gabe grows up where walking, not driving, to get somewhere is normal, not a novelty (or worse, something to complain about).
So, my friends, that’s why we live in our little apartment. (Though our current apartment isn’t quite as little as our first itty bitty shoebox.) Sure, there are things I don’t like about it – the lack of recycling in our building (and schlepping our recyclables to the recycling center) and there is nowhere to for Mike to put his ping pong table (except our balcony. yep.). Renting isn’t the right choice for everyone, but for us, it is.
We choose to rent; we don’t have to.
I love this post! I am heading fast to my late 20s, but I am not married, nor do I have a child, and there is still this huge pressure to buy a house. As an investment, because it is a good time, all of that. But for me, right now freedom (or laziness!) is more important and I found it hugely refreshing to hear that from someone who is married with a kid.
PS: Love your blog :)
Found you through 20SB. I must say that I agree with all of these topics. Hubs & I have no kids and one dog. We’ve lived in small spaces our whole marriage (4 yrs in Oct) & I find that it really does help keep everything in order. Since there’s never enough closet space in smaller dwellings, it’s forced me to majorly downsize my wardrobe & I found that I didn’t wear 90% of what was in there. I have to deal with less clutter in general & it makes me really think about what I’m buying & what I actually have attachments to and a use for. Great post !
totally agree!
Hi Ash, can’t remember how I stumbled upon your blog, but so glad I did! Like you, my husband and I have perfect credit and in the financial position to buy a home. But we don’t want a home because we want…drumroll please…freedom + simplicity! I love how you laid out your reasonings. looking forward to more of your writing.
Awesome! I love meeting like-minded folks. :)
We are a 50-something married couple with a 14-year old son, two cats, and one dog living in a 967 square foot apartment. All I can say to you Ashley is how brilliant you are! You aren’t succumbing to pressure from friends, family, etc. to put you and your sweet family in debt! We recently moved into this apartment from the BIG house that nearly ruined us trying to keep it up. When it comes right down to it, even those who are buying a house are actually “renting” it from the bank and (this is the real kicker) MAINTAINING it for them! So few people actually ever pay off a house in order to be mortgage free when they retire. Hardly anyone wants to live in the same house/area for 50 – 60 years! I do wish there wasn’t the stigma attached to us who live in apartments that we’re poor, uneducated, and ignorant because that is so not the case! I guess us LA (little apartment) dwellers will just have to prove them wrong. Thanks for your blog – LOVE IT!
I love this so, so much. :) Thank you for sharing!
“I do wish there wasn’t the stigma attached to us who live in apartments that we’re poor, uneducated, and ignorant because that is so not the case!” – Couldn’t agree more! My neighbors are mostly folks who’ve decided they don’t want to have to deal with the maintenance of homeownership. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything! Except maybe having to spend my money replacing appliances in my house. ;)
Oh, my gosh!!! How true all this is and the funny thing is I moved to an apartment after my 21 year marriage with children broke up. After living in the apartment for a year I did feel like I was throwing $ away so I had a new house build so I could have my own and not have maintenance. You know a brand new home surely I would not have maintenance. WRONG!! And I spent 7 years being “home” poor. I could not do anything fun because I had to spend all my $ on my home.
Well, I just sold my house 5 months ago and I am an extremely happy apartment dweller and don’t think there would be any reason to buy another house.
Thanks for sharing!!!!
We are in the process of selling our big house in the suburbs to downsize to renting an apartment for the exact reasons you posted – walkability, location, close proximity to neighbors, flexibility, etc. We have been owning our own homes for close to 20 years and we are ready to try something different than a traditional single family neighborhood. My husband and I are in our late 30’s with 3 kids. We are looking forward to this adventure!
It just makes so much sense for you. It does for us too.
We did the whole “American Dream” thing. Got married, bought a larger than needed house, had two kids. Didn’t work out so well for us. Sure, I could pick my own washer and dryer, but I had to pay for it too. After buying and selling at the wrong times, going through a layoff, and long commutes, we’re now in an apartment and never planning on buying again. I grew up in apartments and my homeownership experience has shown me it’s not for everyone. I’m much happier back in an apartment, even with two kids! Less space, less hassle, and all the other things you mentioned just work so much better for us. I’d rather have a happier family than “the American Dream”.
Hi..I think some higher power lead me to your site today as I was feeling pretty down in the dumps . You see, after 31 years of living in my huge house, raising kids etc..divorce etc…and now forclosure, I am looking at having to move into an apartment. I am ( or was) afraid…until I read some of your articles. It’s true owning my home all these years cost me money, paycheck to paycheck and when things broke, it cost a huge amount usually to fix….no breaks in between. Maybe I should look at it as ” I DESERVE to live in an apartment now!!!” Yeah!!! Can you see the smile slowly coming across my face? Thanks again
Hi Ashley! I know this blog post is more than 2 years old and I wonder if you’re still in an apartment? I was so happy to come across this because My husband and I are mid 20s and are going into our 3rd yr of marriage, with the pressure from everyone to buy a house! We don’t want to. We just don’t know exactly where or what location we want to “settle down” at. And we looooove our apartment that we are at right now! Everyone is so nice, we have a gym, sauna, pool, landscape is kept up with weekly. It’s just so nice and close to everything. I wish people wouldn’t make apartment living sound like such a bad thing! PS. We are NE Ohioans as well! :)
I love this article. I’ve been trying to decide if my husband and I will be able to stand living in a 2 bedroom condo with a baby, a small dog, and two cats but I like what you said. Right now we live across the street from great restaurants, kids bookstore, kids toy store, parks, coffee shops, ice cream, etc. We live in a beautiful neighborhood and I don’t want to move just because its the normal thing to do. Thanks so much for your insight!
Can I just say…this post is brilliant, and it’s exactly what has been on my mind recently. I am married (2.5 years) no kids (yet) but we’ve rented as a married couple and I think we will continue to rent at least until home prices become more stabilized where we live (Denver.) Our families offered to help us with a down payment, and we are in a situation where we could buy if we really, really wanted to…but again, it feels like we’d be buying at the top of the market, and I’m scared to do it. I’m 29, so when I graduated from college it was impossible to find a job, in part, because of…the housing crisis/recession. So I think a lot of other folks our age have seen the troubles of buying and that real estate isn’t this golden ticket to financial “security.”
This post makes me EXCITED to live in an apartment with a family. Especially the part about seeing neighbors in the hallway and making personal connections with your neighbors. I even teared up a bit. It is refreshing to hear your perspective after hearing the same things over and over again from friends and family… “buying a home is the safest investment you can make…” “you’re throwing your money away by renting…”
Thanks for the inspiration. <3
I know that this post was written some 4 years ago but still, it presents a good info about the advantage of renting than buying nowadays. Pretty good points. Some of your reasons are also the ones I always point to some of my friends who are thinking between buying and renting. Nicely put ASHLEY!
Thank you so much for writing this. I have been experiencing a lot of guilt for living in an apartment with my husband and our 2 girls. People just can’t seem to understand why we live in an apartment, even though all of our friends who have purchased houses have done so with great help from parents and grand parents. Great to see a positive view of apartment living.
It can be hard to feel different from your peers! We are still renting – a condo now, but we’re just not ready for the commitment of a mortgage! :)
I like your perspective on renting an apartment as freedom. When you buy a home, you are pretty much tied to your land, literally and figuratively. Plus, like you say, there are other great benefits like having lots of neighbors to be friends with and calling a maintenance guy to fix everything.
I agree with the freedom that comes with living in an apartment. We have moved apartments a few times in the last year and it is great because we aren’t tied down. Finding a good apartment can be difficult though. I suggest doing some research before making a decision.
Having an apartment really is the best. I know that after having a family a house would be better, but for now, an apartment is best. The freedom is real, not having a mortgage is the best!
I love living in an apartment. Like you say, it offers a lot of freedom! You don’t have to be tied down to a house and live in a certain place for a long time. In an apartment, you can move and have the freedom to take life’s opportunities.
Apartments can definitely be the way to go if you don’t need a lot of space. I spent most of my young adult years living in various apartments. Like you said, you’re free to move at any time if you’re renting, and life is a lot simpler since you have fewer things. Thanks for the article.
I am so glad I came across this article. My husband and I are financially stable however, we both feel pressure from society to own a home. We have 2 young children 1 being a toddler and we have been living in a 2 bedroom apartment for the past 3 years and I absolutely love it. I walk more because everything is walkable distance everything this extremely convenient. I socialize more because I see the same people everyday. Although my kids can’t run around in a yard, there are parks and a field that are 5 minutes walking distance and my children can run and have fun with other children from the neighborhood. Another benefit of living in an apartment is that the kids don’t have as much privacy, making keeping an eye on them easier during times that I am busy doing housework. My older is a tween and its an important time to really be involved in what he is doing. I also have more money to provide them with more experiences. There are so many reasons that it works better for us and I am more focused on quality of life then chasing a dream or dollars. This article really helped me appreciate what I have even more. I guess we shouldn’t worry what society thinks, they will always think something no matter what we do anyway.
Amazing share!
Apartments are not just the domain of singles, young couples and downsizers they’re also home to growing families, an increasing number of whom have no intention of “upgrading” to a house.
In my own case, we live in a flat because we couldn’t afford a house this close to the city. And a shorter work commute means more family time. Our spacious 1960s 3 bedder is bigger than many houses and the park opposite is our back yard.
Apartment living with a growing family is not without its small challenges. Heaving everyone and everything up the stairs, for instance, plus negotiating a shared laundry/drying area with neighbours and protocols on who can use what, when. It is also harder to have pets in an apartment, and there’s the all important issue of child safety with stairs, elevated windows and balconies, and the hazards of communal driveways.
Great to see a positive view of apartment living!!
One of the best read!!
Living an apartment has lots of benefits allied to it.
The benefits that you have mentioned above are absolutely correct and I agree upon them.
People who do have transferable jobs or can’t afford to buy can rent an apartment according to their pocket…
Thank a lot for sharing this post with us.
We are getting ready to sell our home we have lived in for 28 yrs. We will be empty nesters very soon and have decided that the upkeep and worrying that comes with home ownership has gotten a little old. We decided to simplify and give ourselves the luxury of not being responsible for all the upkeep and maintenence that comes along with owning a home. Needless to say we are nervous about this change and family and friends are not being very supportive saying it’s a bad idea. Ultimately it’s our decision and we need to do what we think is good for us.
Love this post. I love renting apartments, and it’s pretty much my sole way of traveling up until this point. Not saying I don’t use other forms of accommodations (because I do), but usually I rent apartments. They’re VERY cost effective if you choose the right one and when you start cooking your own food you can save tons of money. People always ask me how I can afford to travel as much as I do. Well, a lot of it is because I rent budget apartments with at least a kitchenette and if the apartment has at least a washer, even better.
Thank you for the posting . its very informative posting for everybody
Great post, Ashley. I loved reading it and your honesty is amazing. Condos are becoming way more prominent among all groups of people.
I like this blog & cool that people are still posting. I just sold a 3600 square foot house and moved into an 800 square foot apartment. I like the apartment better and feel free from having all the stuff I had. Downsizing showed me how much crap I never used or looked at and I now have a 5 minute commute. The plus is my payment went down by 2k and bills will be much less. Good luck to all.
Hey,
You have shared a great post.
Nowadays, real estate developers are developing luxury residential complexes with all luxury amenities included in every apartment. The primary aim behind the construction of these residential buildings is to attract wealthy people looking for a quality living.
The apartments that are available for rent include everything that one needs for a comfortable and homely stay. You can enjoy all luxuries in a rented apartment like your own home.
Thanks for sharing!
I love everything about this. Thank you so much for writing this. We can buy a house but haven’t for many reasons, yet we are often defending our CHOICE to rent. We’d love a house, but our apartment is no less a home than a house.
Great article. Very helpful for people who can’t afford YET their own house. Will definitely share this article to my friends. Keep it up!
Hi,
Great PosT!
I would like to say that Unlike houses, apartment complexes are usually built with specific amenities such as pools, gyms, convenience stores and laundry facilities directly on the premises or at the least in very close proximity. Other great benefits of apartment living are the social relationships of the close proximity and connections one develops during their residency.
With regards,
Jessicawilliams
Though having an independent house is a dream of many but it is really expensive to maintain, so only go for independent house if you have enough financial muscle otherwise it is always good to live in an apartment and save tons of money and also become a part of a more closely knit community.
Hi Ashley
I just came across this blog post and it totally perked me up. It was my dream to own my own home (I’m 36 with husband and two children), but this changed when my husband lied about our savings and blew it all (another story). For a long time I’ve had to come to terms and have felt down about not being able to buy a home before I’m 40.
Reading this post has made.me.loolc at the situation quite differently and feel better about it! I am a traveller too and while I was thinking I could rent a home out if I got a mortgage now I’m thinking it might not be so easy to do that. Also, I don’t like the idea of paying out for repairs.
I’m now looking into alternative housing options such as 3d printing or building our own project! So thank you- it’s great to know others are in the same situation as well.
Yep, I am apartment hunting now. And it sucks. My main problem is that I can’t afford most of the things that I want, so I’ve definitely had to be harsh with what makes it to my need list (a dishwasher, refuse not to have it) and my want list (garage parking). Plus I don’t have a Miguel, so I am looking for a roommate as well, and not having a crazy is pretty high on my need list. It suckssss but hopefully I will find a place in the next month or two!
I’m glad you talked about how simple living in an apartment can be and how nice it is not to worry about home repairs. My mother is considering moving from apartments to a house but isn’t sure if it’s the right step for her at her current stage of life. You did a great job of explaining how an apartment helps you have fewer things for the smaller space and not have to deal with the leaky roof or plumbing problems yourself like you would if you owned a home.
I NEVER wanted to live in an apartment; but after selling our house, we couldn’t find one level condos, & my husband can’t do stairs anymore. (-He had a botched up spinal surgery!) …As it turns out, it’s the best thing we could have done, because he doesn’t have to do anything anymore, & he loves it!
That is a great point that you are not tethered to a mortgage living in an apartment, being able to move easily. That is something that sounds really nice to have instead of paying a mortgage and trying to sell the home. Maybe we should rent a bigger apartment for our family instead of a home since my work moves us a lot.
I like how you said that living in an apartment means you’ll have access to a built-in community that you can get to know over time. My husband and I need to find a place to live for his new job, and I like the idea of living in close proximity to potential new friends. I think we’ll look into renting an apartment for that reason!
Nice post. I like living in an apartment.
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It would be nice to have a built-in community. Maybe it would be good to rent an apartment. That is something I would want to look into sometime soon.
I like how you are comfortable living in an apartment in the city. I love how you sketch how friendly your neighbors are by telling how they love your son and your interaction with elders and how you trade coffee beans with them. It would be nice if a realtor can suggest to us if there is an apartment for rent nearby to help us out on looking for one.
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