1. Yesterday was the first day of spring break for Gabe’s preschool. My plan to use preschool as child care continue to be thwarted by silly things like “days off” and “breaks.” They go to school like 9 hours a week! What kind of break could they need?!
Sadly, he doesn’t seem to want a break either – he asked me yesterday morning, “We go to the doctor and then we go to preschool?” “Uh, no. You aren’t going to preschool for 12 days. *sob*” I never really got it when parents bemoaned breaks – don’t you like your kid? Don’t you want to spend time with him? HAAA. Yes, I love him. I ADORE him. He is one of my favorite humans ever. But it’s so good for both of us to have breaks from each other (and for me to have the dedicated work time without carving it out from evenings and weekends).
2. Speaking of which, I am terrified for next year. We still don’t have A Firm Plan in place for work time and child care and such. Part of me worries that I’m going to be at home for 40 hours a week with two small children. I just don’t know that I’m cut out for that, you guys. On weeks where that occasionally happens now, I go borderline crazy and even then, Mike is usually home one morning a week so I can work.
In things that continually surprise me to learn about myself, I think that even if we didn’t need me to work for the money, I’d need to work for my sanity. Who I thought I’d be as a mother when I was 20 isn’t who it turns out that I am as a mother. Who knew!? (Everyone. Everyone knew.)
3. We have yet to get anything for Gabe’s Easter basket. Including a basket. I’m not sure we’ve ever done baskets before? We dyed eggs yesterday, went on a hunt today, and he had an Easter party at school…plus, we have another Easter egg hunt on Sunday with my family. That’s pretty good, yeah? I think I expected to care more about this kind of stuff than I do, honestly. There’s only so many little trinkets and treats that I can muster up.
4. I have scheduled myself into a situation where I have 9 weeks until my due date and approximately 20 weeks worth of work. I need to launch 5 websites, design several dozen print and email ads, and various other smaller client tasks and projects in the next two months.
Why so crazy? Well, I don’t exactly get a paid maternity leave, so I was hoping to work double time now so I can take a few months off later this summer when the baby comes. Hopefully THAT part will be worth it and all this extreme stress and overwhelm will be forgotten. Until then, excuse me while I sob into my pillow and stress out that I’m not making the most of my last weeks with Gabe as my only child.
5. I’m reading Bringing Up Bebe and I have so many thoughts. Mostly that, yes, I am a big fan of parenting where you don’t lose yourself, where you don’t stress out about getting your kid to do everything ahead of schedule, where kids aren’t over scheduled, etc etc. But I don’t think that all American parents are the same (overly anxious, crazy, overly ambitious, etc) or that all French parents are the same (namely: perfect). Same with American kids vs. French kids. I used to babysit for a French family when we lived in Asia. They were just as wild and silly as the American kids. Still, it’s a good book and I’m glad I’m reading it. It’s giving me some good ideas and making me wish I could have this baby in France so they could ensure that it’ll sleep well. Because, oh, apparently all French babies sleep well, too. I can dream…
I am learning that some of the best times to avoid Pinterest are around the holidays. Any holiday. Every holiday. It’s filled with great ideas of how to share the holiday in a DIY kind of way with your kids. Only, who has time for that? I mean, seriously! Gavin dyed eggs at school yesterday (which, I didn’t know about until this morning when I opened his bag and saw an egg in it — that’s what happens when I’m not at pick-up: things don’t get reported back to me).
Also, Sweets and I had a good chuckle last night when he said how impressed he is with Gavin’s physical abilities related to throwing and hitting a baseball (compared to other kids his age). I agreed, but also pointed out that Gavin has no interest in learning his ABCs when there are some kids his age who know how to write them perfectly (and are interested in doing so!). My point: very few kids (or families!) fall all the way to one side or the other of the spectrum. Most kids (and families) are some sort of unique mix. And, if we only focus on the very best things, then we fail to see that they are often balanced out with plenty of weaknesses, too.
I really like my kid too and I miss her when she’s at school BUT I like routine and she needs routine and what do you mean all the next week is half days? That falls right in the middle of naptime and how do they expect me to pick her up from school and get Ryan a nap too?
Having to consider a second child’s naps is totally going to throw me for a loop! I…have no idea what I’m in for.
I really liked Bring Up Bebe, and re-read it when I feel like I’ve lost control of life (aka every 4-6 months). And my daughter is only 16 months. Ha. It makes me feel like my parenting style is normal (relaxed but firm) and that I’m not a bad parent for NOT giving in to the baby-stuff overload that is SO normal.
*HATE* the baby stuff overload. hate it. hate how its all huge and plastic (mostly) and garishly colored and takes over your living space like a fungus. lol
I don’t mind having a home that looks like people, including kids, *live* in it! but we does a family with 1100 sq ft or less need 8 different devices just to put the baby down in, when chances are they want to be held more often than not anyway?
Have three littles so far and less is sooooo much more ;)
I think we know someone who has a few “extra” baskets lying around…LOL! If you need a basket, call me and I am SURE I can get you a free one…either something from like a fruit basket type thing with handles or I think I even have an “Easter Basket” that someone gave me one year when I was teaching!
Just think – at least it’s not still snowing on spring break? Hang in there with all the work – I’m sure it will be worth it when you can enjoy your maternity time and get to see Gabe as a big brother!!!
i read that book too – and for the most part, i liked it – the whole idea of CTFU parenting (calm the frack down), kids can eat what adults eat, not catering to them, etc, etc.
but the sleep thing…. irritated me. lol France has really low breastfeeding rates even compared to the US (the average person doesn’t nurse past 3 mo. their initiation rates are higher than ours, but its not common or accepted to “sustain” nursing) and that attitude, combined with this idea that somehow French genetics makes every baby sleep thru the nite from the get go…. not buying it. Now, maybe they’re just letting them CIO, Ferber or no ferber, from a terribly early age, but infant sleep isn’t cultural or regional, its biological and anthropological and guess what? they’re wired to wake often. so that whole “just do it the French way” makes babies sleep…. pfft :-p
but for the most part, i enjoyed it. and kind of felt affirmed in my “kids do kids, adults do adults, everyone take a deep breath and relax” approach! lol
I just 100% agree with everything you said. No surprise. I totally loved so much of the book – just didn’t think it needed to be painted so much as “OMG AMERICANS BE CRAZY!” Ha.
1. Don’t forget the teachers need a break- I’m assuming they are not at work only 9 hours a week, and they may have their own kids or husbands they need to spend some quality time with :) But I totally understand being stressed about it when you need to work. I think that’s often the parents concern when they say that :)
2. I completely agree I can’t be a full time stay at home mom. I liked going to work yesterday kind of too much… bad mom? Ha ha. In my ideal world if I didn’t have to work, I’d work part time still. I think that’s a great balance.
3. Max also will not get an Easter basket from us (I think Eric’s mom will probably get him one) and seriously? I know they are like $1.99 but they are ugly, lol. I did get him 2 books “Max’s Easter Surprise” and “Peter Rabbit.” I’m actually happy to know maybe I can avoid the actual basket for a few more years.
4. Yikes on all the work. You can do it!!!
5. I actually LOVED Bringing Up Bebe, and not because I think French parents and kids are perfect, I am sure they are not. I feel like regardless of whether you actually subscribe to the actual crazy American parenting discussed in the book (which by the way, you SO don’t!) there is some pressure to do so here. It might just be me, because as I told you- I first started reading your blog because you are were a non crazy mom. I need a lot of non crazy moms in my life to remind me it’s possible. Oddly, now that I have a kid, I find it easier to imagine being a non crazy mom. Anyway, it just gave me hope (like your blog does) that it is possible to be a great mom but not dedicate every second of your existence to being a mom. Does that make sense? Anyway, in my limited experience with parenting books I find it’s best to take what I like and completely ignore the rest, ha ha.
6. Do I get a prize for a super long comment?
Loved reading Bringing up Bebe; agree that there are some very large generalities from both sides in that book, but it the foundations and some of the ideas are really awesome. I’ve read the book once and took tons of notes, but need to get a copy for myself because so much of it comes in handy with my bonus kids (especially since 99.9999% of the time I have NO CLUE what I’m doing as a parent, if I’m doing it right or wrong or if my ideas are good or bad.) and also for my sanity.
Um, no pre-school for 12 days!? That’s special. 12 days in a row off sounds amazing as an adult but I can certainly see how difficult that is for parents to work and schedule around. Geesh!
Completely understand your reaction to the 12 days of break… I’ve just had my girl for 4 days at home and we are both looking forward to nursery tomorrow (for her) and work (for me). I know many colleagues who come to work to retain their sanity, me too. Looking after a child full-time is exhausting and as someone who is also a mum, I can fully understand.
Regarding your 20 weeks’ worth – you just need to rope in all the child support you can get from your parents and Mike, so that you can get it done, then concentrate on spending time with Gabe (that’s your reward!). I am sure you can do it.
After reading your post and the other comments I will purchase ‘Bringing up Bebe’. I am not a mom yet, but I want to be prepared for that. Thank you so much for the advice and keep it up Ashley!