Guilty.

I’m a hot mess, you guys. These feelings have been brewing for a while – but I didn’t know quite how to articulate them…

I am out of the blogging loop – I have been skimpily blogging here and have hardly had time to read any blogs.It makes me so sad, because I adore the blogging community that I’ve been a part of for nearly two years and all you lovely gems who take the time to read and share your lives with others. Blogging is my outlet and a source of happiness for me, and being separated from it is breaking my heart.

Speaking of sources of happiness, I’m treading water in my Etsy shop – working on a mostly custom order basis without time to create new goodies or update my shop.I’m delighted to even have the opportunity to do that, but I’d love to have more time to put my ideas and dreams into action.

I’m unable to keep my head above water when it comes to cleaning our house and exercising. I’ve run ONCE since getting back from our trip out west. My house is constantly a complete mess and it makes me want to cry when I look around see just how destroyed it is. But I come home at the end of the day with hardly enough energy to get myself some food – let alone put away things or go for a run. My library books are overdue, my laundry isn’t put away, and my vegetables rotting in the fridge because I don’t have time to read, clean, or cook.

I’ve been gone 12 hours a day much of this week and last – which means I come home and have a few hours before I need to go to bed so I can wake up at 6am and start it all over again.I want to work hard and embrace this new role, but it’s so hard when I have little time to do the things I love – go on walks with Mike, sew, take design classes, run, and make my house tidy.

It’s difficult to find the solution to that classic conundrum of life-work balance. I don’t want a job that is my life. I want a life that is filled with things I enjoy doing. I want to have time to continue pursuing my graphic design certificate. I want to be able to read. I want to be able to meditate, find peace, create meals, and spend time being.

I hate to be whiny and negative, but I need to know how you do it, ladies. How do you have the time to get it all done, take care of yourself, have a clean house, and work hard at your job? When I think about having a baby while doing all of this and I pretty much dissolve into tears over the fact that I will apparently never be able to have children because I can’t even take care of myself. (No, I’m not melodramatic, thankyouverymuch.)

Seriously, I’m going to need some input: How do you do it all?

Give me a book to read, tell me your secret, commiserate, anything!Help.