Ugh. January. I had so much hope for you! And then you brought a million (6) snow days that reduced my work time and a pregnancy scare that sidelined me for a week. So cruel. Add to that an awful cold that won’t quit and the return of daily pregnancy sickness and I’m feeling rather helpless.
I sent Mike an email today that was basically, “I feel like a terrible mother, wife, and worker. *waves white flag*” and dudes. I know. Be gentle with myself and all that and I am. I am not someone who struggles with mom guilt. I let myself take days off and lie in bed and make Annie’s mac and cheese again for dinner. But I just expected it to be easier by now. I didn’t expect to still be throwing up daily and not sleeping at night, is all. I like to have a clean house and work and eat food that doesn’t only come from a box.
I’m dealing with liberally applied kisses from my preschooler and reading a fun book…when I’m not curled into a fetal position on the bathroom floor.
Is that tiny violin playing?
Let’s discuss how poorly I did with my goals.
[January Update]
Reread the Joy of Less. Half done. I was super inspired to finally go through Gabe’s closet stuffed full of 3 years of clothing and get rid of a ton of it (two GIANT trash bags and one of stained clothes that I will try to salvage.) I am planning to majorly decrease the amount of stuff we own over the next few months, especially if we learn that we are indeed moving. I don’t want to move across the country for a year with anything that we don’t use often, so I’ll use this book as my inspiration.
Take another Braid E-Course. Yes, but I only completed one of the lesson’s worksheet so far. Embarrassing.
Complete Fresh Start. Not even close.
Drink 54 oz of water a day. My only real success last month (aside from surviving) was water! Then I left my water bottle at my friend’s house and haven’t been drinking as much.
[February Intentions]
I’ve never much been a February fan (it’s typically the month I hit my winter wall…which I’ve already hit), but, hey! It’s here and we’re doing this.
Respond more. I am not good at responding to anything quickly except in my head. I get so many awesome, thoughtful, helpful comments on here and when I read them I respond in my head instead of with my little typing fingers. Same with twitter! I’ll think, “oh, I’ll respond later when I’m at a computer”…and then forget. I want to respond to more comments and reply to more tweets! This might be a silly goal, but I feel so bad when I realize I meant to respond to someone, like, four days later.
Take care of a variety of silly little things: make a dentist appointment for myself, get the car windshield fixed, and clean off my phone. All of these things have been on my to do list for months. Time to just get ‘er done.
Take care of myself. Honestly, all I can think about is how far behind I am and how much I have to do and how I hope I feel better soon because I have so much to do and OMG I quit everything this is terrible. SO. High time for things like reading, seeing friends, exercising, and staying off social media to combat total burnout. Um, what? I didn’t realize I was going to type that last one until my hands just did it. Tricky hands. Perhaps I’ll take my social media break early this year. Instead of May, I’ll do February this year. WHY AM I SAYING THIS? OMG.
Actually, this might be just what I need. I felt a rush of relief just thinking about setting that boundary for myself. Especially after listening to the Joy the Baker’s Podcast about 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Posting to Social Media.
So. Hey. Change of plans – Social media fast. I’ll deactivate my Twitter, Facebook, and delete Instagram as soon as I post this. Won’t you miss me complaining about snow? ;)
Definitely go easy on yourself! I don’t think I quite realized just how difficult pregnancy was until I was no longer pregnant.
In November I had an “appointment week” when I scheduled all of those annoying appointments and it was actually quite a fun week! Then again, I’m on mat leave and didn’t need to schedule around work hours. Feels good to get it all out of the way though.
Yes, definitely go easy on yourself :). You have a baby on the way and have all the nausea/sickness going on. Also, it seems like a lot of people (including me) are in this post-holiday, mid-winter rut as a result of the ugly cold weather, grey skies, cabin fever from all the snow days, and possibly seasonal affective disorder for some people. And to reiterate, you’re expecting, so that adds on to all this wintry bluesy lethargy! :)
I, myself, am a HOT MESS. I’m catching up on online doctoral lectures. None of my laundry is ever hung up. My kitchen sink ALWAYS has dirty dishes. My car is junky. I gained weight over the holidays. I feel disorganized. My intentions for the year included being more minimalist. Ehh…still working on it. All of it. :)
I always tell myself, “It’s okay – I’m a work in progress.” Just tell yourself that every now and then! :) Good luck on your February intentions!
When I sign off facebook I get nervous…and then happy. It is freeing. Enjoy your break.
P.S.- I read this today and it felt like I had some breathing room again.
http://www.conversiondiary.com/2014/02/the-courage-to-rest.html
Okay, that makes me want to have a schedule. Haha. I might be missing the point…
I threw up until about the 28th week of my pregnancy, and then again from about 36 weeks to 41.5. Pregnancy is way hard. It’s OK to just go into maintenance/survival mode. You’ll get back to your normal, productive self eventually.
Oh my gosh, you poor thing! That is not fair. Why do some people not get sic at all during pregnancy and others are dreadfully sick?
Today was a better day. I actually made food and vacuumed and felt human. :)
So sorry you aren’t feeling well! This January was tough, so don’t feel alone. Hopefully you can start to feel better but it’s ok to throw in the towel when you’re overwhelmed. That post that they shared on the JTB podcast about social media has really helped me navigate my social media usage this year. Feel better! Loving your blog. :)
You are so sweet. XO
I think after the winter you’ve had a social media fast sounds perfect – I’m just thankful that doesn’t include texting! ;)
January was awful all around the country this year, so I think we’ve all already hit the winter wall and we’re right there with you! And to echo everyone else’s comments, take care of yourself! You deserve a break!
Aww, I totally will miss you! You’re really a positive light around those parts!
Oh please do take it easy on yourself. There is no need to guilt trip yourself over not responding to every comment or tweet. You and your baby are most important now, those are truly interested in what you have to say, I am pretty sure will understand and wait for you patiently.
Hehe. Maybe I seem more guilt ridden than I am. I’m not beating myself up! Don’t worry! :)
1) You don’t have to respond to everything! People understand.
2) I loved that podcast. I am starting a new job and writing a new book and have basically decided that I cannot do all the social media-ing that I used to do and I feel SO GREAT.
1) I know! It’s not that I don’t think people understand or expect anything. But I WANT to respond. Because I hate when I feel like I’m talking to someone who isn’t listening. I dunno. I might be weird? I am.
2) Totally. FREEDOM.
I was reading a magazine the other night (I still have a HUGE STACK) and one of the goals for women was that 55% of them want to delete their Facebook this year. I was off of it September-about two weeks ago and only hopped on so I could share information about my mom more easily rather than retyping/creating a new website/etc. Laziness? Maybe, but it has worked. As soon as the life celebration is done I’m deactivating my FB because it’s… useless to me. I rarely use Twitter (maybe to amplify my blog posts) and I will admit i’m totally addicted to instagram. Maybe not taking pictures but seeing others. Anyway. that’s more than you wanted to know.
I’ve been sick since Monday and having a rough go of it for the last three weeks and it’s so hard to be kind to myself. Like you I want to be and yet I like a dust-bunny free house, yummy homemade meals and having meaningful conversations.
Hope that you feel better soon. Think of you lots! xo
January sucked. Indeed. At least your misery lies in good company (with all of us other miserable people). Your “respond more” goal made me smile. Because, usually I’m VERY good about responding. And then, when I don’t and it’s three days later, I feel such a huge sense of guilt for not responding in the first place. I’ve been doing that more lately – age does not become me. ;)
Yes, January ended up being sort of the worst! With some good things mixed in, but so many snow days and cold days. I doubt anyone got much done this January. I like your intention of responding more. I’m always trying to be better with that too!