reading Theo his book about being a big brother ❤
[Summer Update]
Well, I did have a baby which was my only goal for June. I had him on the 29th, so I almost didn’t make my deadline. Whew.
[August Intentions]
I want to focus on being present this month. On treating myself gently and giving myself permission to have productive days (cleaning! cooking! working!) and days where I just sit on the couch watching What Not to Wear and nursing a baby. It’s probably obvious that I’m rather achievement oriented, so I have a hard time just letting go and…relaxing. (I also have a problem with losing time on the internet, so it’s not like I’m entirely efficient with my time). I wrote daily to do lists starting at, like, a week postpartum (it included, “Make breakfast. Drink coffee. Take out the mail.” But still.). When thinking about responding to this pull I feel to be more present to my boys and to live a little more simply, it’s difficult to come up with guidelines or ways to tangibly implement letting go and being present. I shall try, though.
Turn off the internet for at least an hour every afternoon. Turn off my phone, disconnect the internet, and just enjoy time with Gabe and Theo. (And by “enjoy,” it might mean just surviving the tears and giving them my undivided attention.) These early days are little intense at times, so I find that escaping into my phone a little (by, you know, contacting the outside world via text messages and such) helps keep me from going insane. However, at little time away from digital connection is good.
Take risks. At this point, it feels risky to take Theo out in public, but especially alone. And especially with both boys. Risky because, well, he cries and it’s overwhelming and there’s a lot of unpredictability. One of the risks we’re going to take this month is a little trip for Mike and Gabe’s birthdays. I’m already nervous about it, but I need to take risks so I don’t get intimidated by doing things with a baby.
Don’t try to do it all myself. I am getting really good at letting Mike clean the entire apartment when he comes home from work every day. And at telling him what veggies need to be cooked in the fridge. And that I need him to hold Theo so I can shower. I need to continue to not be proud and try to handle everything by myself. I married a good man. Also, I need to find child care this month. Because I am going to work more next month. (!)
That is such a sweet picture of your boys :) I remember being stressed to take both kids out – Ellie hated her car seat for the first six months of her life so would typically scream the entire time we were out. Once I started putting her in the pouch, things got much, much easier!
Good for you for telling Mike what you need! I used to feel so bad asking Nathan to help out around the house because for some reason I felt like anything inside the home was my responsibility, since I stay home with the kids – but that’s just NUTS, especially since I work from home too. Good luck finding childcare! I’m looking for PT childcare this month too :)
I struggle with just “Being,” too. Totally different situations but the grief counselor says I need to focus on just being human, admitting I can’t do it all and letting other things go but damn if that’s not HARD. I feel you on that totally and completely.
I know little about parenting a newborn + toddler but I think you’re doing splendidly. Your boys are lucky to have you! xo
Also think you are doing splendidly :)
I hope you figure out the going out in public thing. Only because if you don’t I may seriously not have another child. The only way I survived maternity leave was going out every. single. day. But seriously, for your sanity I hope you do.
I have also been considering getting rid of some internet time, but like you said, it’s kind of sanity saving so I’m not sure…
I’m glad you’re not trying to do it all, even though that’s hard – but that picture? Oh, my heart!
My firstborn cried so much. I had my first legit panic attack with her screaming in the backseat of the car in stopped Chicago traffic. Then I had two more babies and getting out can still be hard but once I’m out I’m always so glad I’m there. I’ve found people are for the most part incredibly kind and helpful to a parent along with little ones. And if he does start crying and you need to pack up and leave? It’s not the end of the world right? Babies cry and anyone who gets seriously annoyed about that needs a little self check.
Ashley. That photo of your family…oh my gosh. It’s just…I love it.