1. I hate vacation planning. I love it a little bit – the possibilities! the pretty pictures! dreaming of the beach! but mostly I cannot make decisions about where to stay because I read 1,000 reviews and if one of them says something negative, I question my decision. But I can’t hand these reins over to Mike, because he’d just pick a place based on price and be done. He doesn’t obsess like me. It reminds me of studying for a test: I AM NEVER DONE. I know, right? Vacations aren’t supposed to be stressful. (I am unable to decide a) which neighborhood to stay in in San Juan and b) whether to stay in a hotel or rental apartment. I have read extensively about both and still cannot decide.)
2. Mike has reached the point in his career where I don’t understand the majority of what he writes about. I often edit his papers for him, but now I can’t because I have no idea what most of it means. I really enjoyed editing his papers because it keeps me sharp He’s in his third year of a doctoral program and apparently psychology gets INTENSE at that point.
3. I said at the beginning of the month that I wasn’t going to let a few people getting offended by what I say deter me from writing. After someone got offended by my post about being an administrative assistant, my first instinct was to not write about anything ever again. Which is totally reasonable. I’m not sure if I’m just careless with my words (which makes me obsess over how I word everything, lest I offend somebody in the slightest) or if no subject is safe from offending someone. I am still not sure.
4. This is the last day of NaBloPoMo! I’ve been surprised by how not a big deal it’s been. Sure, I’ve had a few days with just pictures of Gabe, or a few days where I posted at 10pm, but for the most part, it wasn’t a struggle to publish every day. It always seems to be the case for making time for things that are important to me – my schedule just seems to absorb the new activity (like, training for a half marathon) without much effort or fanfare. Which makes me wonder what I normally do with that extra time…
5. I really appreciate the conversations and insights that are happening in the comments from my last post. The majority of the internet is so insanely supportive and smart. For anyone interested in the subject of women and flexible work and careers, I highly recommend Womenomics. I read that book before I had Gabe and I am so glad I did – it really opened my eyes to the possibilities. (Though I disagree with the idea that just women want flexible careers. Men want work-life balance, too!)
6. I wanted to follow up to my glasses post with my decision. I loved all the input! I was thisclose to picking the fun big hipster ones (for practical reasons – more lens to see out of! no frames in my field of vision!), but after my sister commented that I looked like my 5th grade self with GIANT round dorky frames, I realized I had to stay safe and get the petite frames (number 3). I ordered them and the lenses were wrong (their fault, not mine), so I have no photos yet because I had to send them back. I am bummed. I probably should’ve asked to get my thick lenses for free in return for my patience. I am bad at being a customer who asks for free stuff.
When we went to Puerto Rico last year at this time, we stayed in Old San Juan. It was very walkable but you needed a cab to get to other areas (Condado?) where most of the beaches are. I just read other reviews about Vieques too.
Thanks! We already have rented a car and most of Old San Juan doesn’t have parking, so we’re thinking Condado. But of course I haven’t decided yet!
Regarding #6: I read somewhere that in a customer service situation, you’re supposed to be very clear about what you want/expect. As in, don’t wait for the company to offer a consolation prize; ask for it. However, despite very clearly asking for the resolution I want, I never get it. In my experience, the companies that have excellent customer service offer something to me for my trouble without my having to ask for it. I hope that makes you feel better about not asking for free stuff.
Okay first off HOORAY for #3! Can’t wait to see them once you get the right lenses in them!
I think there are always posts that are going to offend someone – just ignore it and move on. I think sometimes we get more sensitive over internet stuff because if someone was offended in real life you might be able to sit and discuss for a minute and solve the problem – not so easy through email. Although I’m totally the pot calling the kettle black because there’s a post about “what not to say to women going through infertility” that I have sitting in my drafts and I haven’t published it yet because I’m afraid people will think I’m talking about them when really I’m just collecting things that have been said to me over the past year.
Happy Friday!
I would really really love to read that post. You should definitely post it when you have a chance! :)
Whenever I write about anything other than my family, I always expect there to be a wide variety of reactions to my thinking. In fact, I welcome and encourage it. Just because my views differ from others doesn’t mean there is a right and a wrong to the subject, rather a range of possibilities. In fact, I usually learn a ton about myself and the world around me from the dissenters, not the cheerleaders … that’s why I write with the intention of receiving all kinds of feedback. I guess my two unsolicited cents is to be open to what everyone has to say, so long as they’re doing so in a manner that respects your points, too.
I understood about your position regarding being over qualified. I have thought about doing a job that doesn’t use my masters or additional schooling and just have a job and some money. I don’t live near family for free or cheap child are and that means my net pay is way under minimum wage. I am trying to just like being a mom only Andy attitude has really shifted from tolerating it to feeling lucky about it.
I am glad you posted this often, I enjoyed reading!
When you wrote about getting rid of Side tables, I integrated that in my life. I tossed the junk on my bedside table. I also considered how furniture contributed to cluttering!
You are just the cutest, sweetest person ever. This whole post oozes how much you care about things from vacations to papers to not being one of those customers.
On the subject of offending people with posts: I think it’s nearly impossible NOT to upset someone. I often censor myself from writing things, especially my experiences with Knight’s divorce/aftermath/bonus momming because I do NOT want to offend anyone who has been divorced/is going through one/or bio-moms and other stepmoms. It’s tough because sometimes you need to write it! I say keep being true to you and who you are (and now I shall take my own advice).
Just a note about the whole work/life balance thing, since you mentioned a book–I also suggest “168 hours: You have more time than you think” by Laura Vanderkam. I found it to be very insightful and it offers some neat ways to look at time management and how to get things accomplished while still enjoying your life.
Just requested it from the library. Thanks!
Haha, I have a love/hate relationship with trip planning too. I mean I really do love it, but the decisions are definitely difficult. My biggest problem is figuring out where to go, once I do that I am okay at narrowing down the reviews (but I don’t mind a negative review here in there, I just remind myself of all the places I love that had a couple of negative reviews). But, where to go? I am terrible at that!
About #3: I have run into similar situations, and I am sometimes afraid to post links to my blog on FB because the people closest to me are my toughest critics about my topics, and I feel really bad about sharing when they criticize my opinions. But once when I thought about deleting my blog, I was happy to receive a lot of support to keep going. Unfortunately, ever since I gave my blog a facelift, and made a new blog, I lost my followers who still follow my old blog! Oh transitions! But anyone, just go with your gut. You can’t please everyone. So when you right, follow your heart and stay true to yourself. If we all agreed, there would only be one religion, one form of government, and one political party. So be an individual, and be proud of who you are! I think you are a pretty awesome writer!
Well I loved that post — I love all your posts with more “controversial” topics because you’re NOT afraid to shy away from talking about them — and while I’m not sure what the person said who was offended by it, but I am willing to bet it was more about THEM than it was about YOU. People are really great at projecting their own insecurities onto other people. Anyway, keep it up and remember, it’s your blog and your experiences and you always present things in a nice way, so if someone’s offended…Well, fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke! (Kidding.)
Thanks, Sarah. You are right – sometimes you don’t see someone’s baggage until you trip over it, my friend once told me. TRUE STORY.
Did you ever get your glasses from Warby Parker? If so, I think you owe us a picture of you wearing the finished product!