Theo at 5 Months.

He:
– Was sleeping terribly but has slept better the last few nights, giving me hope for getting more than a few hours of broken sleep at night. Sleep matters so much, which I alway forget until I’m not getting it.
– Is rolling around like crazy, lifting up his little hips and trying so hard to move around. I think he’ll be crawling long before Gabe did! (I said I wasn’t going to compare them, but HA yeah right can’t avoid it).
– Seems to be in a lot of pain from teething. I have an amber necklace, Tylenol, Camilla drops, these teething tablets, baby orajel, and this awesome raspberry teether that I just keep throwing everything at him and hoping it works. Poor buddy.
– Has a favorite person and his name is Gabe. I am already not his favorite person anymore *weep* I GAVE YOU LIFE, CHILD. (Crazy future mother-in-law, party of one)
– Still swaddled with no exit strategy.
– Has the cutest gummy smile. It makes my day to see him smile.
– Looks like Mike somehow even though everyone also says Gabe looks like Mike and did I have no role in the genes of these children?
– Pulls a blanket or clothes or whatever over his face until he can’t breathe, then yanks it off, smiling and gasping for air. This baby is a thrill seeker already. WHAT.

(Theo is totally looking at Gabe, not the book. OBSESSED.)

I:
– Booked tickets to fly to Puerto Rico in two months and will spend the next two months fretting over bringing a baby on an airplane. What if he hates it? What if he screams the whole time? What if everyone hates me? Etc. But the lure of warm weather makes me okay.
– Think that adding a second baby has been harder on our marriage than just one.
– Am tired.
– Have become that person who thinks “Whoa! Just having a baby is so easy!” when Gabe is gone. I hated when people would tell me that when I “just” had baby Gabe around because WTF THIS IS HARD. But I guess you adjust to whatever you’re in and now “just” having Theo means I am only dealing with one set of needs and not two different developmental levels or discipline.
– Am only a few pounds away from my pre-Theo weight, but still much…softer than pre-Theo. I saw pictures from our trip to Hawaii a few months before I got pregnant with him and I’m like, “I looked like that??”
– Have days where I think, “Maybe I should get a full-time job and work more” and other days where I’m like, “It’s too hard to work, maybe I should quit and just stay home.” In reality, the amount of work that I do is just right for me at this stage of life. It’s just hard. And most of the time I think I should quit is when I’m trying to work and parent at the same time and goodness knows that doesn’t work (for me).
– Am so, so tired. Have I mentioned that?
– Am having a harder time with his older brother and I think it might be because of my divided attention and not only because his older brother is pushing boundaries like WHOA. It’s a lot harder to respond with empathy and love when you’re exhausted and trying to soothe a screaming baby.

serious side eye

with the largest sweet potato of all time