Thirty-One & Thirty Two.

How far along? 32 weeks, 3 days.

How big is baby? 3.75 lbs – he’s supposed to be gaining half a pound a week now. WHAT. He’s also 16.7-ish inches long.

Total weight gain: +18 lbs.

Maternity Clothes? I am happy to say I haven’t bought any more maternity clothes in the past few months – holding strong with my four tank tops, four t-shirts, and five stretchy skirts. I also have three pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, two pairs of capris, and two pairs of khakis. And three dress shirts. And two long-sleeve shirts. And a dress. Actually, that sounds like a lot – but much of it was free. My aunts and mom like to give and buy me clothes, thankfully.

Stretch marks? Just the little purple ones I talked about last week. None on the big ol’ belly yet.

Sleep: Meh. I’ve been using my Boppy (thanks, Kat!) to sleep with at night, which was my best idea ever. I don’t have much trouble falling asleep, but I can’t stay asleep in the morning because I feel like I’m 90 years old with achy hips. (Our new apartment has a bathroom IN OUR ROOM, though – which makes for much easier 2am trips to the bathroom!)

Movement: Seriously painful sometimes. He’s supposed to be sleeping most of the day by now, but it sure doesn’t seem like it. Which makes me worried if this is any indication of how much he’ll sleep when he’s outside of me. Of course, when we had a fetal monitor test, he hardly moved at all. So uncooperative.

Food cravings: Water. Melon. In any form, including my favorite, watermelon slushy:

I also made these cookies and turned them into ice cream sandwiches. Oh, yes.

What I miss: Same old, same old. Not having achy hips, sleeping, not receiving unsolicited advice. Blah, blah, blah.

What I am looking forward to: Ikea. Today. Massage. Next week. Amen.

Milestones: Plenty of Braxton Hicks. My little uterus is gearing up for the big day!

Say What?:

“Good luck with Junior!” – dude at Costco who stands near the exit and checks your receipt.

Me: “Hi! How are you doing?” Co-worker: “Not as cute as you.”

“You’ve got a baby in there. Remember, it’s a baby, not a potato!” [blank look] “Sorry, I’m one of those crazy pro-life people” – lady in Costco’s bathroom

“Now, this is the perfect couple right here.” – Teenage boy to his friends outside the library. Mike responded, “Yeah. We are.”

And lots of advice:

“Looks like you’ll be needing this soon.” – Man outside the library hands us a card that says, “AUSTISM IS CAUSED BY VACCINES! THE DEVIL! AH!” Seriously.

“Hello- I was recently reading an article about cell phones and radiation. It said there are serious concerns about children using cell phones because of their “soft” skulls. It probably isn’t a good idea to use your cell phone near your stomach which you’re pregnant. Have a good day and a happy family. =)” – Note handed to me by a random woman at the coffee shop. It was an iPod touch, for the record. I was playing Words with Friends.

Oh, and THIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you’ve heard the pregnant ladies whine about heartburn. I am no exception. Last week, I woke up in the middle of the night, overcome with nasty heartburn. (I’d never really experienced heartburn or acid reflux until being pregnant.) I propped up my shoulders and back to try and get relief. I sat on the floor cross-legged to try and get some relief. I took a few acidophilus capsules to try and get some relief. Five minutes later, I found myself perched on the edge of our bathtub, puking my guts out. Heartburn so wicked it literally made me sick. Ah, so glamorous is pregnancy.