Time is weird.
In some ways, I feel like this was just yesterday:
I remember being at home alone with Gabe for the first time. He was three days old. Mike was at class and it was just me and this tiny little person. I wasn’t sure what to do with him, exactly, aside from trying to feed him. So I took pictures of him. (I also remember thinking, “Dang. He is actually a cute newborn.” Now, years later, I can see that he was slightly alien-newborn-ish, but I still maintain that he’s one of the not-completely-alien-like newborns.)
I feel like it was just yesterday he fit entirely into my arms and curled up on my chest.
Today as I was rocking him before his nap (Yep. I still do that. Just a few songs. Because we both like it.), I was suddenly struck with that strange, “Where did this giant toddler come from?” feeling. He’s half my height now and instead of holding him in my arms, I hold him with my whole body. Legs draped over my legs and making song requests (“Santa Clause is Coming to Town”, anyone?).
I always thought I’d miss the past when it came to Gabe. That I’d long for the days when he was a little plop on the couch that I could hold. That I’d long for his babyhood. But I haven’t. I have an incredible fondness and nostalgia for that time, but I don’t miss it because right now Gabe is so different.
It’s sort of strange, but it’s almost like I had two separate children – baby Gabe and this Gabe. This Gabe that I know so well. Who makes baby Gabe seem like a total stranger. I know that they are the same person but it seems impossible, like a different lifetime. At some point baby Gabe became this Gabe, but I must have missed it. And so, I will keep having those moments of, “Wait. Wasn’t he just so tiny a washcloth could cover his entire body?”
Those times were wonderful and I really do have a fondness for the tiny baby stage. But even more so for this stage where we can go out for ice cream together and collapse into giggles together. This parenting thing can be pretty awesome sometimes.
Baby snuggles are amazing, but I love the toddler/preschooler age so much. No matter how trying it can be at times, I wouldn’t trade having a conversation with my “big boy” for anything. Being a mom rocks. :)
I agree. I feel like I don’t even recognize Callum in baby photos until… six months or so? And even then only certain expressions. It’s exactly like you say–like two totally different children. And it’s weird to think that eventually the Callum I know now will feel like a completely separate person from the Callum of the future.
I agree- Gabe has always been a cutie! Time moves so quickly in adulthood in general, and I can only imagine how much faster it feels as a parent. Little ones grow so fast!
I needed to read this post today … to be reminded that change is so very constant in our children’s lives that we hardly recognize that they’re growing up. Thank you.
Aw, adorable photos. Gabe is so cute, and was as a baby too :)
So true, and it just gets better! I have a toddler as well as 2 older children and I have loved each and every stage! With my 12 year old I was just realizing how fun she is and that she is someone I’d choose to be friends with. We share many interests and it’s neat to see that develop now that she’s almost a teen. I still want a 4th but we are way outnumbered already…
Yes, you put into words my heart lately. So insane. I’ve been working on our photo book from 2012 looking at this tiny 2 month old compared to the 18 month old I have running around — those days seem like ancient history. I miss “her” as in tiny baby Evie, even though she’s the same girl I have running around saying “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mom, Mom, Mommmmyyyyyy”
Thank you for sharing —
Aww. I can’t believe how fast they grow! Ada is 8 months already and I feel like her “babyhood” is slipping away. She’s so much fun and I’m always looking forward to the next stage, but I do reminisce about those “tiny baby” days an awful lot. I think those first couple months sometimes just seem like a blur due to the hormones, sleep deprivation and whatnot, so sometimes I even find myself struggling to recall the details about those early days. Thank goodness for photos!
Oh…wait! :-) My Timothy is 10! Talk about ‘where did the time go?’ And he still loves to snuggle (sometimes….) and it is so funny because whenever he does, I tell him about how he used to sleep just in the crook of my arm and he fit right there, and about the day during his infancy that I decided we were not going to leave my bed and I had everything I needed within reach and he just basically slept all day on my chest (a day with no colicky crying! but of course he didn’t leave my arms all day!). I remind him about how there was a time he only came up to my hip, and now! Now look at you!
It is amazing. I wonder if I had taken a picture of him everyday (same shot/pose) if I would have been able to pinpoint when the changes began, when he morphed from infant to baby, from baby to toddler, from toddler to preschooler, from preschooler to Kindergartner, etc etc etc… It goes SO FAST and yet there are so many changes. And challenges! Each stage, you as a mother have to change, flex, adapt, re-adapt.
What a ride!
I was just reflecting on the infant times with my 2.5 yr old too! You are right, they definitely resembled aliens or old men back then. Looking back at old photos, I wonder how I thought him so cute when he looked like a balding man ;). That said, I agree that they are so different now, and even more enjoyable because they can interact with you.
I have to say, he was quite and adorable baby!
Time is DEFINITELY weird. Although I am not a mom, I can completely relate to what you’re describing with Gabe…. the days are long, but the years are short. It’s very true and sometimes we miss the things that are changing in front of our very eyes.