So, I started a blog post last night that turned out to be so “woe is me I want to mope about nothing in particular.” It turns out I already wrote that post almost exactly two years ago.
Perhaps I should write in my journal about feeling melancholic, not share it with the entire world (and a whole lot more people I know in real life are reading this now than two years ago – is writing about feeling unhappy/sad on your blog akin to writing a vague Facebook status with teenage angsty song lyrics?).
I mean, my life is good. Really, really good. I have the sweetest little boy in the whole wide world and Mike is so helpful and wonderful. I am lucky enough to have a part-time day job with fun coworkers and students. I am thrilled that last month was my highest earning month ever for Little Leaf.
So what is it?
Perhaps it’s that I had boxed mac and cheese for lunch and Reese’s Puffs for dessert yesterday. That makes me feel kind of gross, you know? But I just didn’t feel like cooking. I don’t feel guilty, just not good when I eat junk. Also, I may have purchased a Diet Coke Monday. It’s been a downward spiral. I ate a bowl of cereal, a granola bar, and an almond croissant before 10 am this morning.
Perhaps it’s because it’s still not warm here. I know, I know. Everyone in the midwest and the east coast is complaining about our cold spring. But it doesn’t seem fair to have a cold spring and a cold winter.
Perhaps it’s that I’m starting to experience a bit of social media burnout. When everything I see online annoys me in some way, it’s time to take a break, you know? I do have plans to take some sort social media break in May like I did last year. (Twitter doesn’t seem to be working on my computer, though, so perhaps it’s self-deporting from my life.)
Perhaps it’s that I have dreams and hopes, but have such a hard time pursuing them in the face of distractions and, you know, small commitments like raising a toddler. And even little hopes like finishing my design website redesign and keeping my house clean seem insurmountable in busy seasons.
Perhaps it’s that I want to write about so many things on this blog, like I used to, but feel a little bit stifled now. I want to talk honestly with you. I want to share my struggles and frustrations. I want to tell you what makes me sad.
Whatever it is, I’m hoping the rest of this month is gentle, kind, and heal this funk that’s ailing me.
I will take some time to read a bit of fiction and follow some of the other self-care guidelines I wrote for myself.
I will watch Friends and play with Gabe and wear comfortable pants.
I will run and walk and get outside. I will be active.
I will make time for relationships. Because they are what I want.
Any other suggestions for defunkifying?
When I feel sad, the thing that helps most is mixing it up: going somewhere for a day, taking a break from work, whatever. Getting some life back into my life, if that makes sense. Also, doing something nice for someone else, or inviting someone to do something (especially if I’m feeling lonely). You can also always text or email me…you know that, right? Love you, friend. xoxo
Uggggghhhh, it’s gotta be that time of the year. I feel that funk too and it is So Overwhelming sometimes. For cryin’ out loud I just want things to start GROWING!! And I want to wear SHORTS!! And I want to BE OUTSIDE!! See? Seasonal. I only recently kicked myself in the pants and started doing little things to slowly work out the funkiness. Like on Saturdays or Sundays I’ll take the computer to this groovy little coffee shop and work on the blogs for the week. No biggie, but it’s something I look forward to during the week. Also, I’m making small conscious choices to eat better. First I decided to do protein shakes for breakfast, now I’m adding fruit to lunch. Again, NBD, but it’s making a difference!
PS. just got an email from a friend who just HAD to point out how much she loves my blog design :) Go Girl!
You are so sweet. That makes me happy.
I don’t know how you make a protein shake, but now I kinda want one.
I wrote a similar post last night that is now sitting in my drafts folder waiting to be published. I have a great life but I’ve just felt down the last few months. I’m starting to perk up again now that spring is in the air (at least where I live) so maybe the weather has more to do with than you think. Whatever it is, I think it’s completely OK to feel down and sad even if it’s for no real reason at all and we need to remember that we can’t be happy ALL. THE. TIME. Hope you get out of your funk soon!
You should publish it. Let’s all share our funk together. <3
Start incorporating Springy clothes into your wardrobe. It snowed on the first day of spring (fellow clevelander here), but I had floaty flowery blouse from forever 21 I was determined to wear, so I put a black long sleeved shirt on underneath and rocked it anyway. And today because I’m so sick of wearing wearing tights/socks/leggings I wore my ballet flats without them, like i would in the summer. I work inside so i figure I can manage some cold feet on the walk from my house to the car. I’m busting out my spring clothes and I’m not looking back!
I refuse to wear a coat in April, so I feel you. (It’s been a few chilly mornings running into work!)
Oh Ashley, you read my mind. It has been effing brutal in Pittsburgh this winter–I swear I haven’t seen the sun in four months–and it’s really starting to get to me. I have so much to be thankful for, yet all I want to do is wallow. I agree with Amber–it’s totally seasonal. And it really really helps to know that I’m not the only one. The upside? Warm weather WILL get here eventually. It has to, right? Science!
I know you feel me on this crappy season. I need to plan a warm getaway in March next year. Of course, LAST year March was lovely here!
I don’t think it’s at all akin to Vaguebooking. Even people with wonderful lives have sadness, and funks, and off days or weeks. It’s called life, and I firmly believe that part of living an authentic life is not expecting ourselves to be all happy and all grateful, all the time. It is possible to be a happy person, who is grateful for all of the blessings in one’s life, and to still feel just sort of meh. And it’s OK to talk about it! I also firmly believe that talking about this stuff is one of the ways we process it so we can move on and get back to a happier place.
It’s not a pity party until you start actively deciding to not appreciate the good, even while frustrated with whatever is off. It’s not a pity party until you let your venting get in the way of your living.
Hang in there!
You are so, so wise, my friend.
Hi Ashley! I am a semi-regular lurker since I discovered your blog when we were both pregnant, and I just wanted to chime in to agree with those who are blaming the weather. Some people say that February is the hardest month, but I have always disagreed. It’s March! I know it’s April now, but this is just a temporary extension of March. I actually haven’t minded the long winter this year (or the snow on my crocuses) because my little boy LOVES it — when we got that tease of spring last week, he kept saying, “Need some more snow! Need some more winter!” But as an internet stranger, I feel utterly confident you will feel like your old happy self again after a few nice warm, sunny days.
And Annie’s boxed mac & cheese is actually not bad, if you get the whole wheat noodles with white cheddar. Try adding frozen peas to the boiling water when the pasta is almost done.
1. Do something that is life-giving. Be creative, go to Barnes and Noble and read magazines, eat good sushi- whatever feels like it gives you life.
2. Do something hard that you’ve been putting off. If it helps, set a timer and tell yourself you only have to do it for 15 minutes.
3. Remind yourself that you’ll feel better soon. The funk doesn’t last forever.
EVERYONE goes through a funk. I think what you say about stepping away, relaxing, seeking again face-to-face relationship/time is a great way to get away from the funk.
I understand the funk and I’ve actively ignoring my own by going on a crazy cleaning/throwing out spree. I’ve attacked my closets and drawers already, and even got rid of a bunch of old books at school. It made me happy to give them to people who are hoping to have their own classroom next year. I definitely blame the weather- I’ve had my winter coat on yesterday and today, NOT okay. I would refuse to wear it but that would make recess duty very miserable. Sigh. We will break out of this funk- come on spring weather!
I feel like whenever I get in a bit of a rut I need to get outside or I need to stay inside with a favorite movie and some popcorn. Also, writing in my journal has definitely helped me ease some feelings the past few months.
Hopefully Spring makes its way to Ohio soon!
Buy a crazy pair of shoes, ‘statement’ shoes if you will
I don’t know about your part of the Midwest. But, in my part of the Midwest, weather doesn’t actually get to be NICE until June. Sure, it’s probably not going to snow in April and the temps are slowly on the rise. But, people around here wallow about the weather, when it’s the same thing every freaking year. I have to laugh. Because, seriously, what other response can I give. It’s not like we’re being punished this year. hahaha. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have written that here, but it’s what came to mind.
I think you already know that tis the season to be kind to yourself. If you don’t have time to redesign your whole website this month, don’t commit to doing it. Rather, maybe you commit to an hour a week. Do what you can do in that time and know you’ll devote more time to it next month (or next season or whatever). Also, I’ve never heard of anyone dying of a little dirt under their nails, so don’t sweat the clean house thing. We don’t and I think we’ve only lost one or two friends as a result. (ha)
I think we all feel like this at one point or another…. if that is any comfort to you. When I need to get out of a funk, I usually try to find something that I am really excited about to help remind me that there are good, happy things out there.
This has been me on and off for the last month or so, especially when it comes to my blog (which rarely sees much writing) and sometimes at home and after work.
I think some of it is that I am burnt out, some of it is that I’m adjusting to a new routine, and sometimes, I get that way when I feel distant from myself and my husband. My fix: some journaling, treating myself to one thing I don’t normally do, a little bit of rest, and then being aware of how I’m feeling and seeing if I can find the fix for the issue. I also try to get a little more time carved out with Knight that doesn’t involve tv, other people, or house work/chores. Sometimes spending honest to goodness time with myself and my husband helps to ground me (again).
Side note- way to go on kicking butt with the Little Leaf business last month. You are one of my favorite designers forever and always =)
Defunkifying can be overwhelming. Start small. A walk in the sunshine. Listing a few things you feel gratitude for. Writing helps… watching your fav shows. I also love reading other people’s stories (or even just watching the news) which helps me with my sometimes warped sense of perspective. But mainly it’s respecting the fact that you feel yuk, not being hard on yourself or ‘downtalking it’. Listen to yourself as you’d listen to a good friend, open, unjudgemental and with kindness. I find it’s so easy when I’m feeling blue to tell myself things like “what’s wrong with you? snap out of it girl”. But I’m learning that’s not the best way to treat myself, that it’s better to be kind to myself, “okay love you’re feeling a bit down, that’s okay, we’ll get through it – what would make you feel okay today?”
Comfort food. Tracky dacks. Not worrying about the housework. Reaching out.
Take care of yourself xx