Learning about Minimalist Living
The idea of minimalism first came to my attention when I was reading a blog about a family who traveled around the country in just an RV. As the author raved about only having one bowl, spoon, fork, and plate for each family member, I was intrigued. I pulled most of our dishes out of our tiny cabinet in our first kitchen, stuck them in a box, and shoved the box in our second-bedroom-that-was-basically-a-junk-closet.
It WAS nice to have less dishes to wash, I decided. But a year later, we moved and had a dishwasher and we started using all the dishes again. I thought, “Well, that’s nice that some people can be minimalists or whatever, but not me.” And so the stuff in our place continued to pile up around us.
A few years later, the concept of minimalism was brought to my attention again and actually caused me to reform my slob tendencies. After years of holding giant day-long clean up sessions to get our place company-ready, I finally discovered the way to make it easier to learn to clean up after myself: HAVE LESS STUFF.
(If only I’d discovered this idea before having kids! I fantasize about how neat I would’ve kept things without someone undoing it.)
I know minimalism is a bit of a buzzword or can induce eye rolling, but I think it can be an amazing tool that’s helped me personally take control of our home and our schedules and have so much more freedom, which is why I want to share a few reasons minimalism appeals to me:
Why Minimalist Living Appeals to Me
First, though let’s get something clear: I don’t want to be a hardcore minimalist with nothing in my house, but it turns out if I aim high, I land in pretty-good land. Kind of like that saying about shooting for the moon and you might land among the stars. If I try to be a minimalist, I might not be a truly extreme one with clear surfaces 24/7, but I get rid of stuff more easily. As I strive to keep only what is necessary or beautiful, I find that my threshold for clutter and messiness continues to decrease.
It makes sense to me.
If I have a dozen pens in a cup on my desk and rifle through them to find my favorite pen every day, why not just get rid of the other pens and keep my favorite one or two? Once I started making little changes like this and seeing how much peace it gave me, for example, to not have my bathroom counter cluttered with a dozen hair products I never used, I was sold. Sign me up for more!
It saves me time.
I spend far less time cleaning, maintaining, and searching for things than I used to. And I know the more I get rid of, the truer this is. Also, I’ve found that having fewer choices in clothing saves all of us time in decision-making. I cannot believe how full my closet used to be!
My house is neater with less effort.
I hate having a messy home but cleaning up after myself also doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s a problematic combination. All those “a messy house means you love your kids!” posts make me frustrated because I cannot handle a messy house (it puts me in a terrible mood), but I also am not the best at cleaning. By having less belongings to pick up, less toys to fight with the 4-year-old to clean up, and less clothing to launder, our apartment’s resting cleanliness level is neater!
It’s budget-friendly and aligns with my values.
If I learn to not buy into the hyper-consumerist beliefs that buying stuff makes me happier or that I need to buy new clothing for every season or that I need to decorate my home to be picture perfect or that my kids need lots of awesome toys, I’m saving money. Plus, I’m stepping outside a culture that I don’t always find helpful or life-giving and hopefully setting an example for my kids to not be totally toy-hungry little monsters.
It’s not just about stuff.
Minimalist living also affects my schedule. I say no to a lot of things to give us lots and lots of downtime. No to volunteering at preschool. No to extracurriculars for my preschooler (until he asks to be in them). No to filling up our weekends with 4 different social events. I think that, at least at this stage of our kids’ lives, having lots of family time and not scheduling activities to entirely fill up our days is our highest priority.
I love your approach, Ashley, and agree with so much of what you said here. I think minimalism is about a healthy mindset of deciding “do I really need this?”.
And it’s not the same as “being frugal” or worse, a cheapskate (oh god! I saw the reality TV show and MUST blog about it sometime), it’s more about consciously deciding where you spend your time and money…. and that is, in a world of instant gratification and consumerism, a real gift.
I’ve been on a cleaning/purging binge lately. It started slightly different in that I was helping my dad sort through some of my mom’s things and thinking “I don’t want Knight to have to do this when I go. Also, I have TOO MUCH STUFF.” Don’t get me wrong, one of the things about my mom that people loved is that she always had a journal that they could borrow, or 5 pens in her purse, but I have a different point of view now. I don’t need stuff. I need memories, experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. And so, we have cleaned up and out a lot of stuff at our house. I started doing it and Knight followed. When the girls are with us, we have t hem donate/toss things they don’t use and we keep their toys to a minimum. However, I will get them used books any day of the week since they love and read them so much. You are one of my many inspirations for being able to keep this up and keep purging- it feels good. When I get home I’m ditching the hair products I don’t use =) (also, sorry for the world’s longest comment.)
Yes! To all of the above. Cleaning, managing stuff, having too many choices– life is just simpler for me with less stuff!
No one would come to my house and call me a minimalist, either. But- like I hear you saying- I aim high and that brings things to a manageable level.
I second what San said above. :) I just also want to point out that a messy house does NOT mean you love your kids (or that you don’t). People say that because they claim they are spending more time with their children than they are cleaning, which in theory is good. The problem is, they also are not teaching their children to clean up after themselves or any of the core values that derive from this basic necessary skill. So please don’t even beat yourself up over vague phrases. You are a wonderful example of the parent whose children I WANT in my class. <3
Yes, I love all this in theory. I wish I was better at it in practice. Especially on not adding too much to the schedule. It’s always a work in progress for me.
I third what San said :) I’ve read a lot about minimalism and I definitely lean in that direction, but my husband is much closer to the hoarder side of things. I used one of his t-shirts (from 1997!) as a rag once and he still hasn’t let me forget it! Heaven forbid I actually throw something out!
What I love about you said is that it’s not just about the physical “Stuff” but the big picture stuff. I am so happy to see more and more posts/articles written about the “busy epidemic” in our society. I am a stay at home parent to three children and constantly struggle with mom shaming that i’m not “doing” more with my kids. I have a lot of early childhood education background and think people do their children a disservice when they schedule them to the 9s. They need “bored” time, time to invent and explore and PLAY for goodness sakes. Schedules are all well and good when they are excited about them, but not everyday. Family time is one of the best gifts we can give our children. I am so sad to see that being replaced with more and more clubs/activities/commitments.
I love when you post about stuff like this – so informative but it also really feels relatable/like someone else could do it because you really break it down so well.
Ashley, I love this. Although I’m really good at holding onto things I no longer need, I”ve also gotten really good at getting rid of stuff lately and just saying No to things at well. It truly is liberating. And I’m with you on not being completely extreme but coming to realize what we truly need and don’t need.
“If I have a dozen pens in a cup on my desk and rifle through them to find my favorite pen every day, why not just get rid of the other pens and keep my favorite one or two?”
WAIT, YES. How have I never thought about it like this?!?!
Right? So simple, yet I realize I’m doing stuff like that ALL THE TIME. Just keep my favorites instead of shuffling through everything else to get to my favorites!
This is incredibly helpful. Thank you for putting it up for others!