There are many afternoons that I spend in frustration these days. With Gabe’s whining. With the clothes, toys, dishes, and papers strewn everywhere around our apartment. With my inability to focus on anything for more than 3.2 minutes. With the fact that I just cleaned that high chair tray off, like, an hour ago and now I have to do it again. With all the little things that get on my nerves but sound incredibly silly and petty when I say them aloud.
The past two days, though, I’ve taken the time to go outside with and it’s been incredibly healing for me.
As I wrote last month, the days I feel like I have no time or energy to leave the apartment and go for a walk are actually the days I need to do exactly that. I just leave the dishes in the sink, the bed unmade, the toys on the floor, and go. When I come back, I have more energy to tackle the dishes and make dinner (I hate that about exercise – it gives you more energy! why does that have to be true? let me be lazy!). It gives me a new perspective. I am more loving and patient toward Gabe. In fact, Gabe seems to be less whiny and needy after a bit of time outside.
Yesterday, it was the most perfect fall day in all of creation – high 70s, a yard full of crunchy, fallen leaves, a bag full of books, and just me and Gabe outside for two hours. We found a little patch of shade and sat around reading – me devouring What Alice Forgot and Gabe paging through his picture books.
We buried Snoop under a pile of leaves. We lay on our backs and gazed up at the trees full of bright yellow leaves. I explained how leaves change colors during October and fall off the tree. I explained how to jump in a pile of leaves and made one for Gabe.
I flopped down in the leaves to write a to-do list while Gabe threw leaves in air and stomped around happily crunching leaves under his feet.
(For the observant folk – It says ‘health care for baby,’ but what I mean is ‘find maternity coverage for future baby.’ This is NOT a veiled pregnancy announcement!)
It was an afternoon that I never wanted to end. I was enjoying my time with my son so much – lately, he is more of my little companion and less of someone who needs me to take care of him. I genuinely enjoy his company and he makes me laugh. (He also genuinely loves to draw all over my to do lists: “Car, Mama! Train, Mama! Tree, Mama!”)
On those rough, long days, spending a little time away from our home helps me recognize just how wonderful my life is. How I get to spend my evenings watching The West Wing with the most perfect-for-me man I could have ever hoped to marry. How I get to spend my afternoons hunched over my computer, doing what I love and getting paid for it. How I get to spend so much time with such a sweet, kind, loving, wonderful little boy (who I love even when he has chocolate ice cream all over his face). How my life is more fantastically perfect than I could have ever dreamed.
And I’m writing this to remind myself: Ashley. If you are losing your patience with this sweet little boy – get the heck out of your house.
The closer he got to three, the less whiny Daniel was. And then just after three, whiny again for awhile. I have also heard my other friends say that boys 20 months to 24 months are agreeable and likable, so just a little ray of hope that this winter will be easy and happy for you indoors with Gabe.
THANK YOU for writing this post, Ashley. I needed to read it today. Many moons ago, we realized that being outside calms, soothes and heals Gavin when he begins to get crabby. I think I forgot that, probably because being outside is what we do in the summer – we do it without a lot of thought. Now that Fall is upon us, we’re spending less time outside. And lately, it feels like Gavin has been super crabby. Coincidence? I don’t know. But, I do know that if we drag him outside for even 10-15 minutes, it gets better.
Also, “health care for baby” … is that your subtle way for making an announcement on your blog??? =)
love this so much. we all need to remind ourselves to take a break and get outside every now and then and i’m glad you’re doing it. also Gabe is just such a sweet little guy, love it so much with him and Snoop.
I’m on your to-do list!
AGREED!!! This week I’ve made a HUGE effort to take time for ME to go and exercise…I’ve been more awake, more solidly asleep, more HAPPY! You said what I’ve been thinking this week, you rock. I miss you, can we get together sometime soon? :)
What a wonderful reminder (and I looooove the pictures accompanying the post) that the outside heals us on the inside. (Does that make any sense?) It’s so soothing to be able to lie on the grass and simply stare into the blue sky, becoming aware of nature’s rhythm through the window rustling the leaves and flower blooming (or in your case, leaves falling). As I’m typing this we have a thunderstorm and lightning going on outside. Bliss! And it’s amazing how in-tune our little ones are with nature, and just wanting to be outside. Linmari is completely amazed by grass, and she’s only 11 weeks old! She loves the stuff! When we lie on the grass and sit outside she also seems to calm down faster. So enjoy your days outside (while the weather holds up!) and your beautiful boy who is growing up sooooo fast! And good luck with all those things on your to-do list :-D
What a magical day! Not gonna lie, my heart sped up when I saw that baby item on your list, haha!
This is such a great post! I absolutely agree, sometimes my two year old’s whining drives me absolutely crazy. Then we’ll just step outside and enjoy the fresh air and everything is better again. That’s why I make it a point to get outside at least once a day. Don’t know what I’m going to do this winter though…
My children are long past that stage, but I remember it well. It’s my opinion that there is a REASON that all those old books talk about the nurse taking the children out for an airing each day — it does us all good to be out in the air for awhile. I recommend that and a daily nap/rest time for every member of the family who is home.
Agreed. The vitamin D is very necessary for me and the kids sometimes. Lest we come to blows by staying indoors all day… :)
I love this post for a million reasons, but mostly because I can hear (read) how happy you are with your life and that’s such a big thing! And also the line about Gabe being your companion rather than someone you take care of makes me happy, too, because that’s how I know my mom felt about me and my brother and that’s how I hope to feel one day about my future children.
This also makes me wish we lived so much closer as I would love to hang out with you again!