Persistence is not about knocking on one door until the dang thing finally opens.
It’s about knocking on all of them.
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I have written about my vocational path about eleventy billion other times. Brief history: lots of turmoil and confusion. I’ve wondered whether a full-time job is slavery, like the homeless man’s van claimed. I’ve announced I wanted to be a freelance graphic designer Then freaked out and worried I couldn’t do it. I dreamed of a life where I could balance work and kids. And got mad when that wasn’t my reality. I found a decently paying salaried job that I adored and figured I could be flexible with my hopes of working for myself. I felt the need to validate my choices. And, recently, I left that wonderful job to stay-at-home with Gabe and work part-time at Starbucks.
When asked what my future plans were for a post-volunteer questionnaire a few years ago, I replied:
“I have too many career goals for one lifetime – including freelance graphic designer, independent craft artist, campus minister/exploring social justice with students, teaching computer technology and graphic design at a high school, opening a coffee shop, and being a mother. Only slightly ambitious.”
(Eh, I work at a coffee shop now, so I’m going to count that. I wouldn’t actually want to run one. What was I thinking?)
Sometimes, I feel like I’m a Jill of all trades, master of none. I have so many interests. So many passions. SO many hobbies. I design blogs. I sell things in my Etsy shop. I photograph like crazy. I dream of writing a blog column (for pay! fancy that!). I worry that I need to narrow my focus; that I will never achieve much in any of these areas until I decide just which of my many interests I want to pursue with the dedication I know I posses. I know I will be successful. I know I will be awesome. I know I can do it.
For now, though, I’m not sure exactly what it is. Along with starting The Joy Equation next month, I’m going to continue running like crazy in many directions. I adore sewing. I find my bliss in layout and design. I am elated when I capture an image that portrays beauty. I live for connecting to others through writing. And, so; I will continue to sew. I will continue to design. I will continue to write. And, next week, I have an interview as an assistant wedding photographer. It’d be a huge leap, to be sure, so I don’t have my hopes too high. I imagine how much I’d learn. How it might start my own career as a photographer…
I’m getting ahead of myself.
But a girl can dream, right?
For now, though, I’m not sure exactly what it is. Along with starting The Joy Equation next month, I’m going to continue running like crazy in many directions. I adore sewing. I find my bliss in layout and design. I am elated when I capture an image that portrays beauty. I live for connecting to others through writing. And, so; I will continue to sew. I will continue to design. I will continue to write. And, next week, I have an interview as an assistant wedding photographer. It’d be a huge leap, to be sure, so I don’t have my hopes too high. I imagine how much I’d learn. How it might start my own career as a photographer…
I’m getting ahead of myself.
But a girl can dream, right?
I definitely can relate to what you were going through. I feel like I have so many opportunities but I’m not sure which to pursue (which am I doing because other people want me to do them, what does God want me to do, etc). Thanks for sharing.
P.S. A lot of the links in this article are broken.
I adore your blog!
I too, am from Northeastern, OH (Ashtabula, in particular)! Go us! I’ve always wanted to start up a side design services business but I am so consumed in my life and full time job which is 50 hours a week give or take, and managing one giant website and database, and well, the whole Digital and Marketing Department for a large company is more than enough trouble for me!
I often wish I could choose another path, I am very well rounded with my work experience – and I hate to say it – but like a lot of people a couple years out of school – we don’t really have that choice anymore, or any support for us to live out our goals and dreams. I definitely could not afford “go for it,” as much as I would love to – at least not anytime soon. I have nothing to fall back on if it doesn’t go the right way. :-(
I too am a Jill of all trades and master of none – I spend so much and most of my time at work, and when I’m not at work, I’m playing the piano, random craft projects, playing sports, exercising, web design/coding, video games, participating in local events – but sometimes I just wish I could focus and execute on just ONE thing.
Great post! We all can dream!
I’ve never read something I could relate to more! All through high school and my college career, I’ve always felt like I had too many interests and could never focus on just one. I’ve managed to switch my major to marketing and have found I do enjoy it. But I still find myself drawn to about a million other things I want to do in my life time. Currently I’m working on starting a blog of my own. I’ve looked at your design services & really like it – might have to invest in that at some point!