We've Only Just Begun.

Our five year anniversary was this weekend and as we mulled over how to celebrate it, we discussed what an anniversary means to us. Are we celebrating our love? Our commitment to each other? Are we rededicating ourselves to this journey called marriage?

We have hope to take a big trip to Hawaii for Christmas for our fifth wedding anniversary this December*, but our real anniversary ended up being very us. Our marriage is between the two of us, yes, but a huge part of our marriage right now is our little family. It just felt right to have Gabe with us during a day of hanging out and remembering our love story. Our love not only brings the both of us joy (and challenge), but it brought a sweet, delightful little boy into the world. Our marriage is strong and our love is deep, but we also recognize that in this season of our marriage, having a young child is a fleeting stage, and so we chose to celebrate with him in our own little way.

It felt like an anniversary of celebrating the start of our family. Yes, it was just the two of us for the first few years, but it was the foundation for building this little family that we so love.

A stormy day meant our plans to eat outdoors at a fancy restaurant while my parents watched Gabe were nixed, so we spent the day doing simple things that we love to do. We went out to breakfast at a delicious local cafe where I enjoyed the best egg sandwich of my life. We went shopping. We walked. We talked. We remembered. We ended the day with pizza and Ben & Jerry’s while watching The West Wing. So utterly us.

After five years of marriage, our relationship feels remarkably different. There are no more butterflies. There is no giddiness. There are no grand gestures of romance. Mike was one of the most romantic people I’ve ever met while we were dating. He sent me flowers. Got a part-time job to buy me a ring. Sent me a CD of songs he wrote for me. Proposed with a scavenger hunt and a song he sang. He was far more romantic than I was.

There are less grand romantic gestures these days and more everyday, meaningful ones. The way he listens to me when I tell him about a difficult situation. The way he always, always, ALWAYS encourages me and believes in me. The way he told me that I should pursue this design thing when I was about to give up on the idea two years ago. The way he urged me to quit my job during maternity leave. The way he  believes in my dreams as much as I do. The way he asks me, “What can I do?” when I not-so-graciously mention that I’m overwhelmed, and then cleans the entire apartment to alleviate some of my stress without being asked.

And that is the difference between dating and marriage for us. As my boyfriend, he was sweet. Now, he is my rock and my biggest champion. He is truly my partner and my best friend. He knows me better than anyone and can tell when I am upset before I can. He believes in me when I doubt myself. He tells me I am good enough. (Unless he’s telling me I need to clean up after myself more. Gotta keep it real. We’re not perfect, folks.)

So, no, it isn’t as exciting or dramatic as in those early days, but it is so much better and more secure than ever before.

* which may or may not happen. Right now I am feeling rather apprehensive about plunking down all that cash when we have so little coming in, if I may be frank.

PS: Here’s a recap of our wedding day and some awkward wedding photos.